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I've found that most plants like that are a lot more sturdy than you think. I am always shocked at how well our roses come back each year after I cut them back. Of course, I am not the one you want to listen to for gardening advice!
I'm starting to find the same... I prune back, and my parents-in-law or my mum come around and slash it back much more than I would have every thought possible!
It's crazy. Nature is amazing!