Kevin: The story of a expat idiot

I met Kevin S**fhall about 6 years ago while traveling in Asia and at first anyway, he seemed like a pretty well-put-together person who had played his cards right in life. He was living in the Philippines and also had a condo in Thailand and he and his wife seemed to have a pretty great understanding of how their life was going to be and both of them were living together but also separate because Kevin liked to drink and she did not.

This is quite common among relationship between foreigners and SE Asians in my experience. Actually, I haven't met very many SE Asian women that are heavy drinkers at all, and maybe that is a good thing.

Kevin had worked in banking or something financial in nature his working life and he had been a good little saver because now he is retired and doesn't have to worry about money. Fantastic!

Keven was a generous and reasonably nice person but there was one critical flaw in his presence that I think most of us could do without. He liked to flaunt how much money he had.

The thing with Kevin was that he wasn't like super rich or anything, he just had a house and a half in two countries and never had to work anymore. That's all fine and dandy but he would weave this into any conversation that was going on and it was sometimes in bad taste considering that many member of the expat community (and especially the locals) don't have that sort of financial luxury. Many or perhaps most of them are quite insecure about their finances so to see this guy bragging about all the stuff he has was kind of annoying and let's be honest, a dick move on Kevin's part.

One thing that Kevin really enjoyed doing and it was truly cringe, was that he liked to take his wallet out of his pocket and put it on the table next to him because as he would say "it was hurting him because there is so much money in it."

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I don't know what Kevin was attempting to accomplish with this because if it was admiration that he was after, he accomplished the opposite of that. What he got was resentment among the people who were struggling for money, and he got fake friends from the people who wanted him to spend money on them - which he did. He reveled in the attention that being the guy picking up a round of drinks got him. He would regularly try to buy me drinks but I always refused.

I recall one day that we were at an outdoor pub in Bangkok one day and we were near the street and I said something along the lines of "aren't you afraid that someone is going to snatch your wallet?" and he said something arrogant like "nobody is going to steal from me here" as if he was a gangster or something.

He probably saw himself as that but what he really was was an overweight sweaty foreigner who was out of his element. If he really wanted to be a high roller, Bangkok is definitely the sort of place you can do that, so why was he slumming it with us at Cheap Charlies (literally the name of the bar in On Nut) instead of hanging out at some super swank hostess bar?

I think the reason was that Kevin didn't really have anywhere near as much money as he lead on. Those sorts of places would strip him of his cash faster than a thief running by and snatching his wallet off the table.

Well I thought in my mind that one day Kevin is going to get his comeuppance because his arrogance and apparent lack of concern for safety was really really stupid.

One day, I was correct as well. While I do not know the details somehow the word got out about this asshole that sits with a wallet overflowing with cash at Cheap Charlies or something because one day on his walk to go back to his hotel, a couple of unintended strangers came along with him. They must have been watching him from afar but were not going to approach him at the pub where there are a ton of witnesses and cameras. Instead, they got down the street, a rather busy street, and then forced him down an alleyway where he was robbed at knifepoint. I'd like to say Kevin put up a fight but not only is he cringe, but he is also a coward. Furthermore, he can't run from anyone because he is probably 100 pounds overweight.

Not only did Kevin lose his wallet, but they took his expensive IPhone, his watch, and his wedding ring that day.

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This is a lesson to anyone out there that wants to travel. Not just to cheap places like Bangkok or Manilla, but really anywhere in the world. Not only is it a dick move to flash a bunch of cash in public (especially in a poor country) but it can also be very dangerous. I don't think the people that robbed Kevin ever would have selected him if he hadn't been basically advertising that he was carrying around an inordinate amount of cash. He made himself a target and I think this would end up being true for almost anyone else in that situation as well.

I haven't seen Kevin in years but the last I heard from the people that live in the same city as he does in the Philippines is that he no longer pulls his wallet out of his pocket and leaves it on the table anymore.

To me this just seems like common sense that you shouldn't do that, especially if you aren't really gangster the way that Kevin liked to believe he was. He was just a fat and easy target for thieves and it didn't have to be that way.

I'm sure that everyone out there already knows this but especially if you are traveling, you really should keep your finances a secret, especially with cash.