A Tale of two Countries.
As a migrant from Germany to Ecuador I have the privilege of hating two countries. Just kidding. Though both have their perks and flaws, I've come to a point that I can see all of the latter with a lot of humor while enjoying the former.
If you want Germans and Ecuadorians to meet at your place at 3pm, tell the Ecuadorians 2.30pm, and the Germans 3.30pm.
Stuff like that. So many stereotypes are true, yet seen with humor, it's absolutely manageable. Even the bureaucracy. I see getting a visa or anything else in Ecuador as an adventure, a challenge that requires my A-Game. Charming the person at the desk, chit-chat with the security guard, putting all my curiosity on the table, asking questions about their jobs, not only making them feel seen, but see them. I'm genuine in that. And it gets everything done a lot quicker.
Know how.
Quite important. I understand why many people hate the unpunctuality and the bureaucracy of weak minded suddenly equipped with power, but there's no changing that. If you can't change a thing, work on yourself to be able to embrace it and take something away, some lesson, something that makes it fun.
Not everything is.
I do hate the violence. I haven't lived in Germany for 12 years, so I'm not sure if it's a general phenomena in our globalized societies of individualism - I'd love to blame the latter for that, too. But Ecuador reeks of it. Violence against animals, violence against women, violence against children. Not only physical, but so much psychological violence, and it's so absurdly normalized. It's in every day speech, in the jokes, everywhere. I had a very hard time adapting to that.
Maybe never did.
I'm sometimes accused of not being empathetic with street dogs or people. I don't treat them badly, I just don't pity them like others do. I can't. It would be too much for me. I rather focus on the few that I can help, and help those with all my heart. And I say that.
Directly.
The good thing about the bad is always that it shows me how I don't want to be. I always make the half-joke of Ecuadorians only finishing the facades, but never painting or even plastering the sides of houses, because they, too are just like that. A friendly smile in your face, smack talking behind your back. The level of hypocrisy in treating each other is still astounding me. Although I'm quite sure that it's just in every place in the world.
Some more, some less.
As with everything. A just like with everything, there's a good in the bad - the chance to use it as an antagonist. That's not how I want to be. I don't want to be an unfiltered direct shooter either - directness without kindness is cruelty, or something like that, I once read and it stuck to me. So, I work towards a balance.
Neither culture is perfect.
But somewhere in the middle, I feel like I'm doing right by myself, and by raising Lily that way.
What are your thoughts about this topic? Please feel free to engage in any original way, including dropping links to your posts on similar topics. I'm happy to read (and curate) any quality content that is not created by LLM/AI.
Post written for the #weekend-engagement by @galenkp inviting us to answer selected questions in the Weekend Experiences community each week.
This is my response to:
5/ Do you ever hate the country and location in which you live and if so why?
Thank you for reading!
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STOPI'd like to hear more positives about the Ecuadorians than this as you make them seem terrible!!!
I love that.
It's true all cultures/countries have their flaws, and their awesome qualities. There's a lot I resent about Australia and it's people, but then, I am glad I was born here and if I'm going to live anywhere it's a pretty good place all told. Well, if you come from privilege - in the same way you were talking about the other day. Same with the UK. It's lovely to live in a quaint village in the countryside and be able to make rent, not so good if you live in a council estate with no money and tons of crime and inherited disadvantage.
Oh, I think I can make every society make seem terrible these days. What I like a lot is that Ecuadorians are cheerful and open. It's easy to get in touch, though difficult to go into depths. Then there are the indigenous tribes who manages to keep a lot of their heritage alive in ceremonies, language, wisdom and such. The ancient folk was very connected to nature, and I love the way the elders speak about that. Then there are the simple country people, those I like most I think. Very honest, hard working, impressively modest in how they live - by force maybe, the inherited disadvantage you mentioned. I'd say it's mostly the people who are touched by individualism that become rotten, which I would say for most cultures.
PS I'll always be half an hour early, waiting out the front in my car so I can walk in calmly at 3.29. Perhaps it's the German DNA.
So true! That is the only way. It is crucial to accept the situation and try to make the most out of it.
Being Dutch I have to work on this. Not sure if I fully agree with the word 'cruelty', being very direct can hurt someone's feelings. Adding kindness in the way we talk with others helps a lot to not hit others too hard, like a smack in their face.
Safe travel!
I love directness myself, and I can deal with it very well. Stereotype northern German, they'd say 😅
It's maybe not cruel, since if I get the word correctly, that includes intent to hurt. Maybe negligence? Carelessness? Not having interest in the effect that it can have on others. Inconsiderate? Okay, you sent me on a word chase here. In German it would be Rücksichtslos.
We're in a hotel now. Lily is asleep, and in 6h I have to get up to get going. I hope I can sleep.
Yeah, that is a good word indeed! No idea the best English word for that one. Only thing I can think of for now is: Without Consideration.
'Heavy' Travelling incoming
Night Night then.
It's funny how you start off your post with "As a migrant from Germany to Ecuador" Whenever we talk about migrants, it's always about people moving from a less desirable country to a more advance one for a better life. I dare say nearly everyone will say Germany provides a better life for one than Ecuardor. The fact you choose the later, means there must be something, other than Lily pulling your there, a lifestyle that you can't get in Germany?
Hope you get home safely. (Look, I been influenced by you now, Ecuador is home!!)
So nice that you caught up on that word! I dislike how most US immigrants in Ecuador talk about themselves as "Expats", but immigrants about everyone else. And that's both Republicans and Democrats and those in between.
And yes, there are many things that pulled me to another country. I kind of got (happily) stuck in Ecuador quite quickly, though wanting to travel more. I guess it was fate, as I can imagine myself living almost anywhere in the world. Depending on the climate, maybe, as I'm a bit sensitive to that.
I love that Lily has all the options. I hope she chooses to study in Germany, and then goes off to see the world. That is just he biggest of all privileges that I can offer her.
I am closer to Germans, if you are not 5 minutes early then you are late :)
This is the way.