This week's garden focus question from the Hive Garden community asks us who we'd invite to show around our garden, or hang out with in our backyard. I thought I'd think of someone famous and interesting, like David Attenborough, but I'd be so intimidated I wouldn't even be able to open my mouth and say something interesting back. I have had one celebrity in my garden, I suppose, the lovely Dr Alice Roberts, but she was a friend, so it didn't count. I made her a beautiful fresh salad of garden greens, fennel, seeds and halloumi, topped with viola flowers. She melted with delight.

Then I thought, well, wouldn't it be cool to have a Hive gardener visit my garden. I'd love to have @livinguktaiwan here, because I'm sure she'd appreciate the trip to Australia. Or @goldenoakfarm, though I'd worry she would think my garden a disorganised mess. Or @trucklifefamily, because we could dance under the moonlight under the gum trees. Then I started to worry that I'd leave people out, because there's so many amazing Hive Gardeners here. I could show @sanjeevm my chrysanthenems and ask @isdarmady for advice on hydroponics. A Hive Garden party at my place would be a dream.

Whilst thinking about this in the garden today, Jamie recieved a phone call from a buyer who put in a bid 300k short of the asking price for our property a week ago. He'd even gone a building inspection, which he paid for to a grand total of $800. We immediately said no - and the real estate agent agreed his offer was insane.

Today, however, he offered another 100k. Still too low, but still - a jump up on his original low ball. He clearly really likes the property. Apparently he's from the Adelaide Hills and wants something with the same vibe, whatever that means. @holoz0r might enlighten me.

So maybe that's who I'd invite to my garden. Look, dude, I'd say - look at that view to the west. It's like living on a 100 acres and 95 of it you don't have to maintain. We're end of court - do you SEE the neighbours? Nope. That track, hon, goes straight into town. You can be sipping a latte in fifteen minutes if you walk fast.

And look at the finches and wrens, matie. Look at the New England honey eaters shaking the red flowering gum and bathing in the bird bath. Twenty of the little darlings. And last week a scrub wren landed on my knee. You can have garlic chives in your fresh scrambled eggs for breakfast before the cheque clears. Have a fire bath under the stars. No, I don't come with it.

All those native plants you see, prospective buyer? Thousands of dollars worth. Look at all that shade - no way you get that on any of the other properties you are looking at. And the soil, so fertile. I've been tending that soil 16 years.

Why don't you have a beer and sit under the gazebo whilst it rains? You can see that maple turn orange from the bathroom window. And sometimes a white goshawk lands on that post.

Then there's tons of fruit trees and the olives. The organised compost and chicken yard. The many places to sit. The bees and the polytunnel. The sun setting over the lilly pond lake that borders our place. Is that a kookburra I hear? A black cockatoo flying past?

Dear garden visitor, tell me again your lowball offer, and I'll bury you under the fruit trees.

With Love,

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