Reclaiming Myself at Sea

Well hello again? Oh and Happy New Year too! Sorry I just resurfaced after spending some much-needed time underwater, desperately seeking peace away from idiots on land during the holidays.

Instead of whining (again) about why I’m always alone on holidays, I figured why not use this hard-earned money to actually enjoy myself? Be alone, but in some nice resort this time. Drink wine. Eat good food. And book a dive trip too while I'm at it. Because why not? It’s been a while.

2025 was quite intense huh , story of my life. Quitting my old job, toxic boss, spirals, burnout and all Diablo's chaos you name it. This holiday felt earned. With a new job, and a more humane schedule and wage, I promised myself I’d get my old self back. The other side of me. No, not that the usual diabolical one. The real me. The one who finds grounding in nature, who feels most alive underwater, hanging out with cool fish and sea turtles. The peaceful and angelic me. And honestly? I felt it. My identity snapped back into place. Hell yeah!

I stayed at a dive resort, and despite some obvious bewilderment from people around me (“Are you hiding so you don’t have to give gifts to your godchildren?”), I stood my ground. One big lesson learned: never again will I travel on weekends or holidays. Ever.

Another lesson? I’m officially done roughing it. Gone are the days of hostels, cramped rooms, and questionable guesthouses. If I’m going to relax, I’m booking the comfortable sea-view room with a balcony. Times have changed. I’ve levelled up folks! Let me be alone and lonely with a style. Three nights max for dive destinations close to home that’s my sweet spot. I can’t be away from Diablo for too long anyway. I mean I checked the camera and it looked like he’d been waiting the whole time. And man, it breaks my heart, separation anxiety is real.

Ironically, my time on land was not relaxing at all. Dirty old men vacationing with their families gawking at me as I walked back to my room - eww deeply uncomfortable. Yep, never again staying in family resorts during holidays, let it be my mantra. So if I’m being completely honest, the only real peace I had during this holiday was underwater. No talking. No DOMs. No beach vendors harassing me. No side-eyes for being alone on a holiday. Just breathing, buoyancy, and silence. You pay for those 2 hours of peace and it's worth it I promise.

And after five years of barely diving because of COVID? Turns out I still got it. I still know how to breathe, do my safety stops, stay calm underwater. That felt huge. I thought I’d lost that part of myself. I even sold some of my gear (which I now regret). But look who’s back.

Another lesson learned: if I truly want peace, I need to plan everything now that I’ll finally have proper PTOs. Well, I already have dive trips planned well into next year so watch out for those travel posts. I’ll be getting a new wetsuit, dive computer all over again. This holiday trip just reignited my passion for scuba diving and lots of lessons learned too. I got a new game/travel plan this time - protect my peace at all costs.

So no, I’m not a cave dweller after all. This is me getting back out there. Into the wild. Into the water. Looking forward to more quiet dive trips, more downtime, and more moments where the world finally shuts up at least long enough for me to breathe.